While a relationship with someone who has BPD may seem nearly impossible at times, there are ways you can facilitate the relationship with that person without having to go on the rollercoaster ride with them as they oscillate between extremes in behavior and mood.
Having a relationship with a loved one with BPD means that you will have to find a way to manage your behaviors so you can manage their behaviors.
You will be blindsided by and baffled by your partner’s willingness to destroy the relationship you nurtured and enjoyed, as well as the indifference and callousness with which your relationship is dismantled.
Although you may even wish to piece together the smoldering embers of the relationship that is now seemingly broken beyond repair, the healthiest thing to do would be to let it be.
Initially, your BPD partner will place you on a pedestal until you come to believe you are as special as you are being told you are.
Then, suddenly and inexplicably, your partner will become aloof, emotionally and perhaps physically abusive, and then leave you feeling discarded.
It is challenging to have a relationship with a person that has borderline personality disorder (BPD), especially since one of the hallmarks of the disorder is unstable relationships.
However, if I knew back then what I know now, I would have run given some of those early warning signs and never looked back.With both, the individual always works hard and feels uncomfortable with vulnerability.These personalities require that a romantic partner serve the interests of the disordered individuals. If you challenge them or try to hold them accountable, they will lash out and punish you.In my clinical experience, I have found that having a relationship with someone who has severe narcissistic or borderline personality disorder often leads to one of the most upsetting relationship experiences a person can have.In short, the closer you are to someone with one of these personalities, the worse the emotional injury.